Anger. (The #QueerIndianTeenVisibilityProject)

my particular brand of expression generally involves a very liberal usage of words, commas, ellipses, parentheses, and…more words. succinct is almost never how I tend to work.

short & sweet just isn’t my style.

I’ve rambled on for paragraphs over the most pointless of posts on this blog before.

this post is going to be different.

this post is about anger.

indignation.

rage.

and I’m sick of it.

I don’t want to explain and if there’s a shred of decency left in this world I’m hoping I won’t need to.

the fact of the matter is I have everything I could ask for and I’ve grown up very privileged. this is not a shred of what billions of other people here in India  – let alone the world – have to go through every day. and I acknowledge that. it’s not my place to talk about my problems, and I never intended on it.

I’m lucky.

I’m also queer.

and I’d never have written this post if I hadn’t realized that girls (people, actually) like me don’t get the opportunity to express their voices too often. I’m lucky that I, personally, am in a position to say whatever the hell I want to without having to second-guess myself or be ostracized for expressing my voice. and that is why I’ve decided that I will.

this by no means is as grave as a hundred other issues defiling our planet, and a part of me feels guilty for it.

but this isn’t about me.

this is serious.

there is a grand total of ZERO – nil, nada, ZILCH – written documentation of any kind of adolescent sapphic experience of any single individual living in India intended for a modern audience that is not erotica or ancient.

(by which I mean books. good ol’ normal sapphic books.)

trans/non-binary representation is also practically non-existent – almost worse, because they don’t even have the little terrible rep we get. when they are cast in some sort of role, it’s usually as beggars or sex workers.

leaving the abysmal number of sapphic/any kind of queer movies aside (most of which are frankly mediocre at best and you can count on ONE hand), there is nothing – no kind of representation or comfort, no proof that we aren’t alone in this. 

most of us don’t have voices.

honestly, I’m not sure why I’m as surprised as I am. being queer in India was legalized two years ago (technically, being queer wasn’t illegal, per se, but you all know what I mean). there honestly wasn’t room for queer teenagers to voice themselves.

but do you guys realize what this means? it means it’s up to us. young queer desi writers. at this point, we’re basically obligated to buck the hell up and write that story we want so badly. screw writer’s block or whatever rut you may be in, screw heteronormativity, screw whatever it is holding you back. we’re at the point where if we want to see it, we’ll have to wind up doing it ourselves.
we need to support each other.

calling all queer Indians who feel underrepresented (sapphic or otherwise): my proposition is a year-long prompt challenge where all of us work on our WIPs together. short stories, collections, poems, novels-in-progress, whatever it is you’re comfortable with. whatever narrative fits your story, whatever you relate to (or don’t. you could write a queer epic fantasy and make a hundred lives). whether you think others will be able to or not. write what you want to see, and we’ll (by which I mean other queer adolescents or even adults who may be interested) be there to read it. always. we need each other.
spread the word and do let us know about whatever platform, however obscure, you use to write. I currently know about Wattpad, Fictionpress, tumblr, Reddit, Sweek, SwoonReads, Blogger and WordPress, but we can try to start an official database organized by genre and platform to offer queer readers and writers across the country a choice. tag your stories and ongoing works (it doesn’t need to be stellar, we’re also here to support each other with constructive criticism and improve – and honestly, half of us will be in exclusively on the premise of it being queer xD) with #QueerIndianTeenVisibilityProject (or #QITVP), and spread the word. 

we can also expand to movies, short films and other forms of expression as we grow. 

(you also don’t need to be regular. heck, you can just read.)

I will also be dedicating my posts on this blog to queer and specifically sapphic visibility for the rest of the year (I sort of already do, but you get what I mean). it’s not like I’m at a loss for material. none of us are or will be – for years to come.

I’m sick of this, and I love y’all. this can be our little community, and you’re all welcome here. time to upend our tiny little universe, folks <3

oh, and by the way? your voices matter.

(okay that was wayyy more productive than my initial short-sighted plan of slamming random inanimate objects around the room and screaming “f#@& thisss!” at the top of my lungs. I just hope you guys are in.)

xx

(I’m sorry my blogging format was a little different for this post. it just…felt right to me.)